About Crash Test Vegan

Earlier this year, at the beginning of July, I decided to start going vegan.  I wanted to know if I was a vegan. However, as I started to read more and try to think it was like I couldn’t think clearly; like I had a head full of static. I now know that was cognitive dissonance – eating animal products while trying to decide if I should would not work. I decided to go vegan for about a year just to see.  So, I started to change my behaviour and thinking around food.  I kept reading blogs and books, watching videos online and listening to podcasts.

As I started making the transition, I decided to keep a blog to record my ‘journey’ and to have something to reflect back on.    I was under the delusion that the food I ate was about me.

As I started on this ‘journey’ and started to learn more I realised that veganism wasn’t about me, but if I didn’t go vegan as quickly as possible I would continue to participate in what has to be one of the most horrific systems of mass exploitation on the planet.  For 46 years, I was supporting an ideology and cultural practice so vile and endorsing of violence it is beyond words.

I am now certain that I am vegan. I still do not understand what it all means. I do not know all the things I am supposed to be doing. I am still trying to retrieve my emotions, my shame and my sanity.  I don’t know what I am doing, thinking or feeling, but I do know my intention; to do the least harm possible, to keep learning and to change.  I do not want to participate.

For the first couple of months I couldn’t write about what was happening with me – I didn’t know what to write. But now, still not certain what I want this blog to be, but I want to put my thoughts and discoveries out there.

When I picked the name Crash Test Vegan … I had no idea how completely apt it would be.

Debbie Robinson (46)

I live in Hamilton, New Zealand. I’m married (no kids) and work as an instructional designer.

 

13 thoughts on “About Crash Test Vegan”

  2. Hi Debbie. Most compassionate people grapple with these issues. Being vegan is doing the best you can in an imperfect world. Every choice that we make can make a difference and living a vegan lifestyle gets easier with time.

    Thanks for following my blog Fur Out the Closet. Of course I support every animal rights issue and look forward to reading more about your journey.

    All the best,
    Emy ❤

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  3. Thanks for the kind and supportive words. It’s been about 8 months now and I feel like I have things more under control. But it is still incredible to me how strong the social conditioning was that it took me over 4 decades to put the pieces together. I wish it could have been sooner. But still, better late than never.

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    1. We have to feel ready and often people start as being vegetarian and then take the final step of giving up dairy and eggs. The most difficult is eating out.

      Yes, I was brought up being told that meat and three veg was the only healthy way of eating. Such nonsense!

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      1. Yes, I was vegetarian for several years and for the most part I had just swapped out the meat for extra eggs and some cheese. And I would occasionally eat fish. But I never really looked into what I was eating or thought about the consequences. I happily accepted the whole ‘free-range’ myth. I had never even thought about what dairy actually was. I was okay with other people eating meat so long as it was ‘free-range’. As I got older something about eating meat just made me feel uncomfortable – but I never really thought about it too hard. It is easy to be vegetarian even eating out.

        I used to love eating out, but now it just isn’t enjoyable, so I hardly ever do it. There is actually a vegan Chinese place (the only one in town) about two minutes walk from my office, so I go there for lunch sometimes – it is great food, very reasonably priced. It is always packed and most of the people are not vegan or vegetarian. I doubt they even know its vegan.

        I am grateful that things happened so that I did finally figure it out. I just wish I had been able to learn the truth sooner. I hate knowing what I have participated in and the system of exploitation I have paid to support over the years.

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  4. Hello Debbie, thank you for visiting and following my blog Vegan Heart. One step at a time, we do as much as we can to alleviate the suffering of the innocent and make a kinder world.

    In my homeland, Argentina, hauling cow corpses into the butcher’s was a daily sight no one ever questioned, but once I made the connection I never looked back.

    All the best in your journey.

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    1. Thank you. I grew up around farms with home kills, and in my twenties worked in commercial kitchens, even in the butchery department slicing up whole sides of bodies. Yet, never made the full connection. How we are taught, especially as children, to frame what we see and experience is incredibly powerful. All the best, and may many others also make the connection so we can end t.his nightmare

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  6. I hope you were able to keep it up. I’ve been a vegetarian/vegan for more than 16 years and counting 🙂

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